- “It seems like every time we try and have a simple discussion it turns into a major blowout…”
- “She interprets everything I say as a criticism of her!”
- “I can never get him to listen to me…I get the rolled eyes, blank stare, or he just leaves—It’s so frustrating!”
Good communication is essential to a healthy relationship
Not surprisingly, frustrated communication is probably the most frequently cited source of discontent and breakdown in relationships. Of course conflict can be expected in any relationship, and managed well couples are often able to resolve their issues peacefully and fairly through mutual understanding and compromise. Too often, however, miscommunication leads to heightened conflict that slowly erodes the love and respect the couple once shared.
Over time, repeated episodes of heightened conflict can result in couples feeling increasingly distant from one another as the illusion of eternal “togetherness” fades. In severe cases, arguments may spiral into hurling profanities towards one another and physical violence may erupt. Communication may shut down completely, often leading to long periods of withdrawal. Standoffs ensue, and the relationship enters a period of crisis.
The “avoidance game”
We sometimes try and avoid rising tensions by essentially declaring a standstill, walking away from the threat of further escalation, or by “agreeing to disagree.” In some situations this may in fact be the most expedient and practical means of avoiding major conflict. But often this tactic just avoids important issues that need to be dealt with. Nothing has actually been resolved, and the underlying issue usually surfaces again with the same unsatisfactory resolution.
How can marriage counseling help?
Healthy communication and conflict resolution skills can be learned and developed in even the most stressful situations. I know because I’ve helped hundreds of couples who had long given up all hope of finding peace and tranquility in their homes.
By restructuring and refocusing toxic communication patterns, and by learning the importance of maintaining loving connection even during periods of disagreement, hostile communication can be minimized, and differences of perspective can even become a springboard for even greater appreciation and respect for oneanother.
If you’re currently in a relationship and are seeking a path towards greater fulfillment and satisfaction, then I invite you to contact me to discover how I can help you transform your relationship towards a happier, brighter and more promising future. My office is centrally located in the greater Baltimore area, and I offer evening and weekend hours for your convenience.